I love you baba

My dad passed away about a year ago, and it taught me lessons I never thought I’d learn. I feel more responsible now, as a man, for my family—to be there for my siblings and my mum. Before my dad died, I think I took that for granted because he was the one who shouldered that burden. Now, it’s on me, and while it’s not easy, I embrace it because I know my dad gave me the skills to carry it.

It’s been a strange year. Beautiful things have happened, but when you’re hurting from losing someone close, it’s easy to feel guilty for having a good time. But I’ve come to believe that the world balances itself out. The good things that have come my way feel like they’re because I have someone watching over me, guiding me in the little decisions. That thought gives me courage and trust in my instincts because I feel there are clues all around, nudging me in the right direction.

Grief is a natural response to losing someone or something important, and psychologists have studied its processes and effects extensively. One well-known theory is Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While not everyone experiences all these stages or in this exact order, they give us a framework to understand the emotional journey of loss. Acceptance, the final stage, is not about “getting over” the loss but learning to live with it.

Grief also heavily impacts our cognition and physical health. The Dual Process Model by Stroebe and Schut suggests that people oscillate between confronting their loss and avoiding it to focus on everyday life. This balancing act can help prevent burnout and allow people to process grief at their own pace. Research also shows that social support plays a vital role. Sharing emotions with loved ones or seeking professional help can ease the weight of grief, reminding us that we don’t have to carry it alone.

But it can lead to growth. Known as post-traumatic growth, some people find that working through grief allows them to develop a deeper appreciation for life, stronger relationships, or new perspectives. While grief is painful, it’s also a testament to how deeply we’ve loved—and that, in itself, is profoundly human.

Grief is hard, it’s easy to let it overwhelm you, and I get that—it’s painful. But you can also use it as fuel. For me, everything I do now is a celebration of my parents’ lives. My successes reflect their hard work; it’s my way of saying thank you. Life gives us baggage—there’s no avoiding that.

The question is, how do you carry it?

Do you drag it alone, or do you find a better way to shoulder it? Acceptance is key. We’re all going to lose people we love, and one day, others will lose us.

Accepting that and fostering healthy habits and perceptions can help us move forward with grace.